Posts by Closer to Fine

24

JC letter of invitation. Do they always get signed?

by StarTrekAngel in

i was just shown a jc letter from a friend and i noticed that the bottom of it was signed by tree elders.

the letter specifically stated that it was an invitation to a "judicial committee" due to the brother having a marital relationship that was not aligned with bible principles.. i am asking because i remember reading experiences of brothers who demanded their jc be arranged over certified mail with signed letters to which elders refused to do.

since they could not get this done the matter was dropped and no dfing ever happened.

Closer to Fine

@Anony Mous and Freddo - Thank you for answering my questions and offering the detailed explanations. I appreciate your posts very much

24

JC letter of invitation. Do they always get signed?

by StarTrekAngel in

i was just shown a jc letter from a friend and i noticed that the bottom of it was signed by tree elders.

the letter specifically stated that it was an invitation to a "judicial committee" due to the brother having a marital relationship that was not aligned with bible principles.. i am asking because i remember reading experiences of brothers who demanded their jc be arranged over certified mail with signed letters to which elders refused to do.

since they could not get this done the matter was dropped and no dfing ever happened.

Closer to Fine

Steve2 - I suspect one of both of the spouses did not have Biblical grounds (i.e., adultery) for divorcing a previous marital partner and have/has now remarried when they shouldn't have.

I'm curious. What is likely to happen if this is the situation? If they're already remarried legally, are the elders going to df them and consider it adultery for getting remarried? Please forgive my ignorance. I'm not a jw.

49

Dietary Quirks Among JWs

by millie210 in

i recently had to accompany an older family member out of state to a family reunion.

it was a big reunion and not much was overtly made of the fact that i am "misguided" and not attending meetings (lost soul that i am) which was nice.

the thing i noticed that i was most struck by was all the dietary quirks in evidence during our 3 days together.

Closer to Fine

Hi Millie - yes definite differences in how they view their own spirituality. The jws that refuse the drs are very suspicious of non jws. They keep themselves as separate as possible from satans world (however they accept $ from the government when they're able to qualify). They are self empIoyed and work from home, they home school and they have very little contact with non jws. They are the most judgmental and consider themselves quite holy. I'm not a jw so I don't have to worry about it, but others in the family don't dare let their guard down around them. They have turned family members into the elders in the past and no one trusts them.

49

Dietary Quirks Among JWs

by millie210 in

i recently had to accompany an older family member out of state to a family reunion.

it was a big reunion and not much was overtly made of the fact that i am "misguided" and not attending meetings (lost soul that i am) which was nice.

the thing i noticed that i was most struck by was all the dietary quirks in evidence during our 3 days together.

Closer to Fine

It's interesting. In my jw side of the family there are both. Some are all organic, no gluten, no dies, no chemicals, no vaccines, no medications, and no doctors (some of them no dr. even during childbirth). They don't avoid these items due to allergies. It's more of a distrust of worldly drs and food companies. Others from the same family love junk food. Lots of soda, sugar, white flour, booze, and lots of meds from doctors. I think for them they truly believe the big A will be here before they die so why not have 6 doughnuts for breakfast?

All that being said, I don't think it's unusual to find this in non jw families as well.

21

It's Going Down: The Family Is About to Go to War Over... Halloween Decorations.

by Sorry in

yup, you read right.

despite other personal turmoil that needs to be addressed, my family has decided to go nuts over halloween decorations being "too close" to our yard.

a new family just moved in next door; their kids are super young.

Closer to Fine

So they're worried about what other witnesses will think. It's all about appearances isn't it? If any jw was to drive by and see the two houses, I'm sure they would realize it's the neighbors decorations and not their fellow jws.

The HOA will most likely do nothing about it. It is just one person trying to push their religious beliefs on another. If the box really is on both properties, at the most all they can say is 'don't decorate the box please'.

9

-My 9 Part Podcast This JW Life & Something For Tomorrow-

by dubstepped in

jw
friends

for those that don't know, i recently did a podcast series called this jw life outlining my life before, during, and after the cult.

i made it with outsiders in mind so that anyone could understand what life as one of jehovah's witnesses is like and what it does to people.

i posted about it as each episode came out, but i know that new people will see this and hope that it might help more people as time goes by, so i will post about it every so often to reach out to those that can find help processing their lives or that want to help outsiders to understand what it was like in one cohesive story.. tomorrow i will release episode 2 of my new podcast called “shunned”.

Closer to Fine

I'm so glad you're doing your podcasts again! I listened to all of your episodes in your first series and look forward to listening to your new ones as well. I've become a bit addicted to listening to ex jw podcasts and I really missed yours when you finished your first series and the prodigal boys when they stopped theirs. I hope the prodigal boys start theirs up again too. Those guys are hilarious! You had mentioned the mental illness happy hour and I've been listening to those as well. Podcasts are great. Thank you so much for your efforts. I know it must be a tremendous amount of work. I appreciate it very much!

5

Any EXJWs Willing To Hang When I Come To Colorado?

by jacobm in

jw
friends

going to do some tourism and looking for suggestions as to good areas in colorado to visit..

Closer to Fine

Colorado mountains are beautiful. If you are visiting soon you will be able to see spectacular fall color in different areas in the mountains. The color change on aspen trees is especially beautiful. Peak fall color time frames vary, so do a quick google search with the dates you're traveling to find the best locations.

28

My Boyfriend is a recent Ex Jehovah Witness

by whatisthis12 in

i have been dating my boyfriend for almost a year now.

when i met him i had no idea that he was a jehovah witness.

we took a vacation and he lied to his parents about who he was with, and they ended up finding out not only that he way lying, but who i was.

Closer to Fine

I feel I should put my 2 cents in since my situation was very similar to yours. When I met my now husband he was a mostly inactive jw. He didn't tell me for many months that he was raised a jw and when he finally did he downplayed the importance of the religion and made it sound like it was just how he was raised. I didn't think anything of it and had no idea that it was really a cult disguised as a religion. We married and lived without anything jw in our lives for many years. We lived a normal life with Christmas etc... So fast forward a couple decades and when his parents died things changed. His family started working on him and pulled him back in. Then they started working on me and I started going to more meetings, conventions, studying etc.. Once I learned what it was really about I wanted nothing to do with the jws. Now he is semi active and basically lives a double life. Things have dramatically changed between the two of us as well. I am now seen as worldly and have been told that I'm a follower of satan. I know this sounds shocking, but it's the norm for a jw. You either follow jehovah or you follow satan. He regrets not marrying someone in the truth and uses me as an excuse to his family as to why he hasn't progressed more in the religion. Those types of comments never came out of his mouth until he became involved with the jws again. He struggles with all of the guilt and pressure to hurry up and get on board before it's too late. As always, armageddon could be here any minute and if he doesn't survive it he will never see his parents again. His family tells him this weekly by either phone or text. It's not a happy way to live!

I apologize for the long post. Please think very carefully before you pursue any type of commitment with your boyfriend. I know it's probably not what you want to hear but this jw indoctrination can be seriously damaging even if it is dormant for many years. I wish forums like this would have been available back when I was deciding to get married. I had no idea what marrying a jw would mean in my future. You are much more informed than I was and that is a great thing. I wish you the very best!

47

Are JWs "mind trained" to be habitual liars?

by nonjwspouse in

i don't mean overly obvious, or otherwise meaning to cause harm, but taught to lie for the purpose of avoidance.

this type of lying can be pervasive in areas of life that are not just to avoid discussions with people who have questions about the jw, etc.

my husband will lie/be deceitful about the silliest, simple things.

Closer to Fine

Great thread - very informative! Don't have much to add except to agree that lying comes very easily to them in my experience. I've seen it hundreds of times over the 30 years I've had jws in my life. Sometimes at the same time I know they're lying about something, they are commenting on how they always strive to be truthful! The lies and half-truths are so common I don't even know for sure if they realize they're doing it.

55

Why do ones that got out come back in?

by moreconfusedthanever in

i have not been to a meeting for about 2 years now.

i do not intend to go back but one thing has me baffled.

why do ones that have faded and been out for years return?

Closer to Fine

I read every post on this thread and realized (with much sadness) that almost every single reason mentioned for going back applies to my husband, who is in the process of going back. He isn't df'd, in fact he's never been baptized but wants to be. I feel helpless and don't think there is anything I can do to change his mind. The emotional blackmail and shunning from family in particular worked on him.